Are you ment to be able to feel the enigne through your clutch pedal wen its not engaged? its like a grinding feeling in the pedal but not a noise. plus it dosent seem to want to go into 1st gear 1st time, is the cluth on the way out? i have been driving it hard recently

Sounds like it could be the synchromesh has crumbled and the bits are floating about in the gear box oil. Drain the gear box oil and check for metalic debris. The clutch would smell of a horrible burning and would slip as well.

how much would it be to fix its only done 48680 miles should it of happend? or was it from driving it hard?

Couldn't tell you the cost, but it's just one of those things. You never know the oil change may or may not improve it. If you need a box then there's a couple of Mazda breakers in Birmingham, not too far form Northampton.